I would like to tell you my little story about fear.
Some people are more torn to air sports, like gliding or paragliding and all kinds of flying. Other people prefer to do water sports, and some prefer to keep their feet on the ground.
Well I would never counted myself as an air person. I prefer to have my feet on the ground or in the water.
Friends of mine, years back, asked me if I wanted to come paragliding ….no thank you! No way I would have done this!!!!!
Just the thought of it gave me sweaty hands and gave me a little panic!
My sister used to do gliding and had asked me once if I wanted to come along….No thank you!!!
Although I have to say I never hated flying in an commercial plain, I even found it rather fascinating seeing the world from above, but only to a certain point!
So this time, years later a friend talked me into doing a skydive for charity….. and I heard me saying yes!
I must have been mad to agree to do that I thought, me jumping out of an airplane??? what a crazy idea!
So I had around 2 months “thinking” about the fact that I will be launched out of a flying object at 15,000 feet!
2 years back I would have still freaked out but surprising to myself, I found myself much calmer then I would have ever been before.
I had the odd moments in the day, when the time came closer and closer, that I found myself trying to imagine the feeling, how it would be like, falling out of this aircraft and the result was sweaty hands, but, I was able not to panic and be calm about it.
I felt fear, but watching myself and realizing that this feeling is only thought in the moment kept me strangely, somehow calm, because I knew it was only thought.
You see every feeling comes from thought in the moment.
And having this knowledge helped me to put my feelings into perspective.
Yes I had these moments and the result was sweaty hands but it didn’t make me panic because I knew that these were my thoughts about something in the future I had no control over and didn’t even need to because it was a false future reality only real in my thinking.
The future is an incomplete equation!
Something we have no control of and so no point engaging with it.
So the moment arrived and I was wondering if I will be able to have a good night’s sleep the night before the big day, and I was surprised to find myself all calm and quite, but perhaps not completely relaxed about it but nevertheless calm.
Sure again I woke up in the morning thinking about it, giving me sweaty hands. And of course, that happened as well throughout the day, but it would have been strange not to have any thinking about it; it’s not really something we do every day; jumping out of an airplane!
We had a briefing where someone told us what to expect and how we should position our self when we leave the airplane. They showed us pictures from the view when we jump out. That’s when I got very sweaty hands and thought to myself Oh! What am I doing here, but again, I didn’t panic like I would have done a few years back.
I was my own observer and realized that my sweaty hands where only a reaction to my thoughts and that is fine, I am allowed to panic and have fear, but I know that Fear is only thought so it’s not real, it is my made up reality and that helped me to stay calm and not panic.
When we ascended it was quite exciting and at this point it was to late to pull out.
I was watching myself, giving up control and surrendering to the situation.
I think control is a big factor of fear, because we are going into the unknown.
Something we cannot control, something in the future we have no control of and that frightens us.
So I ended up jumping out of this airplane and I loved it!!
I gained an experience I would have probably never ever had got through because of my fear.
Fear of something I didn’t know, something in the future I couldn’t know the outcome of
I realized all through the time living up to the event, that there was no point dwelling on it. Thinking of an experience in the future only leads to missing the present moment.
When Eastern mystics describe
the NOW, they are not talking
about today as a specific day of
the month and year. Their
meaning goes deeper. When such
people refer to the now, they
mean the personal mind is free
from the contamination of
yesterday’s memories and fears.
This in turn frees the mind to see
with clarity things as they ARE, not
through distorted memories and