Apparently women in England have the second lowest self-esteem in the world.
I don’t know if that is really true or not, but what I do know from myself and from listening to other women is that we have the ability to doubt our own capability of being successful.
We don’t think we are good enough, we don’t like the way we look, we compare our self with others, we worry about absolutely everything, after we have kids we lose even more self-confidence and find it even harder to go back to work, we feel vulnerable and often we don’t get the support at home we would wish for.
I don’t know why we do this, but there is no need to find out; this would create a lot of unnecessary thinking on top of all the thinking we already have!
I am not good enough,
I will never be as successful
Others are far better then me
I am not intelligent enough
I never could do that
I am a fraud
I am to big, I am to skinny
….on top of all our day to day worries ……..
So tell me, who is saying this to you???
Yes, it is you; it is you who is telling yourself this, because no one else can.
People can try to make you believe something, but that is their belief.
Tell me what is a belief? A belief is nothing other than thought, their thoughts, which are not yours.
Your feelings of your limiting believes, are created from you alone via your filter of thought about an outside circumstance.
Why is it that one day you feel good in yourself and another day you don’t?
Nothing has changed but your thinking.
One day you leave the house and walk to work and everybody is nice to you, you feel great and nothing can go wrong,
The next day you do exactly the same thing, you go to work and everybody is grumpy and nothing is right……nothing has changed, but you, your thinking has changed.
When you start to realize that you are the thinker and you are the one who decides what you can and cannot do.
You find yourself back in charge of your life and not as the victim of any outside
It puts your life into perspective and you find you have a choice.
A choice to carry on and blame others or circumstances for where you are stuck in the moment, or you take the responsibility back into your own hands and you get on with your life the way you want to live it.
What do you want to do?
Who do you want to be?
And what do you want to do with your life?
What if you would know, that in every present moment, you give the best you can.
Why I am saying this?
There is no reason to beat yourself up, yes reflecting is good, but beating yourself up is self destructive.
All our feelings and emotions are attached to a thought in the moment.
And there is always only this present moment.
The past is behind you the future not there yet so everything you think you know is created via thought in that present moment.
Of course, you can decide to hold on to the past as long as you like, completely your choice, as long as you know it’s your thoughts, which keep the past real in every moment.
So all this judgment of not being good enough, not having the figure you want ……
Self-judgment created from you, do you agree?
So this idealistic thinking of how we have to look or who we want to be is a belief we conjured up ourselves over time.
Some communities say big woman are beautiful and others say no; the skinny one’s are the ones who are prettier.
It is completely our own idealistic few of what is beautiful and what isn’t, of what is success and what isn’t.
All that, what we call reality, is self created. We create a picture in our head of how life should be for us and when we don’t live up to the potential we created in our mind, we feel we have failed and with that comes all our self judgment.
The key is to realize that you create your own picture of who you want to be and which life you want to live and then you can decide if you want to live up to that expectation in a life of what isn’t instead of seeing what is.
"What isn’t" is our illusion of our own picture of how our life should plan out.
"What is", has nothing to do with you or me, but going with the flow of life, seeing the beauty of life in its full creation, it is the impersonal rather then the personal.
You know that moment when you see the beauty in front of your eyes?
When you are completely in the zone.
When we ask ourselves the question “What am I doing? I have everything I need!”
That moment is, what is; life in its own perfection, and we are part of it.
In that moment we don’t feel separated.
And then we go off again, in our own little world made up via our own thoughts, completely self created. Nothing wrong with that, because that’s who we are, it is our human experience.
But when we get a glimpse of this understanding we see our inbuilt resilience which is always there for us, we take life more light hearted, there is an ease to it and we have more moments of what is rather what isn’t.