Often when you see a swan gliding across a pond or river, they look very elegant. What you don’t see is that they paddle like crazy underneath the surface against the current.
I had a client who did exactly that! No, of course he didn’t look like a swan, but he was struggling and luckily someone recommended him to come and see me.
He has a business with a team of 7 people working for him. He has a lot going on in his daily life between the business, his family and building work on his house.
In our first session, we did the ‘wheel of life’ exercise, and we repeated it at the end of our sessions too. In the beginning it gave us an indication of what his main challenges were and gave us a focus for our time together. It also gave us something to compare back to at the end. These were his scores, where I asked him how he felt about certain things rated from 0(not good) to 10(really good).
First session:
Overwhelm: 1
Creativity: 4-5
Anxiety: 9
Relationship with himself: 3
Me time: 1
Fun: 1
Final session:
Overwhelm: 10
Creativity: 8
Anxiety: 9
Relationship with himself: 9
Me time: 7
Fun: 10
Our programme ran for 3 months and as far as possible, we met weekly. We began by looking at his business, for example how it is structured and what he could do in very practical terms to make his life easier. We worked on questions such as:
-What do you love to do?
-What do you not love to do?
The fact is: your work is much easier when you enjoy what you do, otherwise there is little point doing it and you can create a lot of unnecessary thinking around it. For example feeling constantly frustrated and unhappy, which slows down creativity and doesn’t help your business to grow.
Next we had a look at how he creates his day - from the moment he wakes up until the moment he goes to sleep. Are the jobs he does profitable? Or are they actually taking a lot of time, bringing in little money and through that creating a lot of thinking and frustration for him? What about his staff - could he delegate more and pass on more responsibility? Are they supporting his business or are they creating more work for him?
This client had a big project lined up but somehow he was too scared to make the final moves to make it happen. By the end of our 3 month programme, he had sent all the papers away and the project will be starting soon.
Of course he knows there will be moments of fear, as he could potentially lose a lot of money, but his fear is not blinding him anymore. He now knows that it doesn’t come from the project but THOUGHT he is having in that moment when he feels fearful. “I am feeling fearful because I am having fearful thinking.”
This understanding doesn’t add to your to-do list but works via insight, and through that supports you to subtract a lot of unnecessary thinking from your mind.
My client can see that now and therefore trust that he will be ok, however the project turns out. We can only ever set projects into motion, but we have no control over their outcome.
The most important part of my work with my clients is to educate them about who they truly are and how their moment to moment experience is created. I demonstrate to them that they live in their own separate reality - their own illusion of thought.
I
don’t
give them any techniques to be mindful, change their way of thinking to be more positive or recommend using affirmations. What I do is explain to them that every feeling (for example frustration, anxiety or overwhelm) comes from THOUGHT.
We are amazing, intelligent beings, having the capacity to think of ourselves as separate from the oneness of life AND to realise that we do so.
It is ok to be frustrated, upset or stressed. The realisation is that it is not coming from your work, your family or a situation but from THOUGHT! When you can see it as that, you know it will pass.
Through this understanding we get clearer, have less thinking on our mind and through that, fresh thought can arise. We are not blindfolded anymore, nor the victims of our circumstances, but able to create what we truly want to create, living a more happy, fulfilled life.
And that is what is happening to my client. Not only does he feel better in himself and with his business but his family life has improved as well.
If you would like to find out more about my work and how I could support you in your business and life please get in touch. I would love to invite you to a 1-hour free coaching session.